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RE:
« on: December 26, 2017, 06:38:04 PM »
Living in an apartment can be a lot of fun. Itís cozy, easy to maintain and you get quite a bit of social interaction. The latter part being fun of course depends on the neighbors but in general itís fun to be able to greet someone when coming home from a long trip, or being able to helping out an elderly neighbor by taking out the trash or grabbing a can of peaches from the top shelf that they canít reach. Just one of the many benefits of being five foot nine. Of course, being a cat lady who is on the road more often than not for her careers in wrestling and football, it often happens that my kitties have to spend some time alone. Theyíre well taken care of by a professional who visits twice a day to feed them and clean out their litter tray and stuff when Iím out, but sometimes I do feel guilty about not being there for them all of the time. But what can I do, eh? Thankfully the people in the block donít mind that I have pets.
Unfortunately, thereís a rotten apple in every basket. Isaac Hunt is my upstairs neighbor. According to his Facebook profile he loves World of Warcraft, Mountain Dew, uncensored anime and Japanese dating sims, especially the ones where the girls are handicapped. Oh, and he supports the Buffalo Bills who as we all know are the main reason for the Kardashians being a thing, so that should tell you exactly what kind of person he is. But worst of all, he doesnít seem very fond of cats.


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From: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:06 PM
To: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Subject: your cats

hey angelica its me Isaac your upstarirs neighbor. i know your gone a lot and you may not know this but evry time your gone your cats make hellish noise constantly whining and complaining and shit and clawing at the door. its really annoying especially during daytime when im trying to go for a WoW raid. Id put on my headset but unfortunately it broke so now i gotta listen to your cats all days because i cant afford a new one. if your gonna be gone all the time maybe you shoudnt have cats or at least put them in like a shelter when your gone.
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From: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:11 PM
To: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: your cats

Dear Isaac

Thank you for your e-mail. I appreciate you trying to give me advice on how to lead my life and take care of my cats whom I love so dearly, especially since you sound like a person who sure as heck seems to have his life in proper order! ^_^
I am sorry that my catsí playfulness bothers you during your ĎWoWí raids, which is coincidentally the only word in your e-mail you capitalized correctly. Sir Bobby especially loves running around the apartment all day in this period to keep warm since itís so cold outside, but I keep the place well heated. Just earlier he climbed all the way up the curtains using just his little claws so he could have a nap atop the pelmet. Cute, right? ^_^
Sir Alex is a bit more calm, he sleeps a lot of the time unless itís time for dinner, then he becomes rather feral. Just the other day he bit my hand because I wasnít opening the can fast enough, but I guess thatís my own fault. He often poops in the corner but I know the telltale signs, like when he meows three times and looks at me sheepishly I know he is gonna drop a little kitty deuce, but Iím usually just in time to pick it right up. Itís a bit EW I guess, but itís a cat ownerís responsibility and I always keep plastic gloves handy.

Iíll see you around!
Angelica

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From: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:15 PM
To: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: your cats

what the hell are you talking about i aint interested in where your cats take a shit i just want them to shut the fuck up is that so hard to understand? are you gonna put them in a shelter when your gone or not? theyre a real nuisance to the entire building and i really dont wanna have to take this any further and i dont apreciate you makin fun of my spellan cause im dyslectic

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From: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:22 PM
To: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: your cats

Dear Isaac

Itís very kind of you that you take the interests of the other people in the building to heart. If only every apartment building had a paragon such as yourself, the world would be a much nicer place! Too often I see people acting only with self-interest. I didnít realize the other residents were so upset over it. I talked to Miss Granger next door earlier and she said they didnít bother her at all but then again she is 94 years old and deaf. I knew a kid in school who pretended he was deaf to all the teachers so he always got special treatment and could just ignore what they said. But then they obligated him to learn sign language but he was too lazy to do that so he pretended he could hear again. Everybody called it a miracle and he even got interviewed by some local papers. I hear heís now a televangelist up in Kamloops, Canada.

Have a good night, Isaac!
Angelica

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From: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:25 PM
To: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

 wtf are you even saying? i dont give a fuck about your high school friends. are you actually gonna answer my question or not? ur being really selfish right now everybody hates your cats and wants them gone.

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From: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:34 PM
To: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

Dear Isaac

Iím a bit shocked that you would call me selfish because of the supposed noise my cats might be making. If anything, I do everything for them, making me an extremely unselfish person since I put their happiness first.
Cat sounds are nice sounds anyway, so I donít really understand your problems. Their meows are so cute! ^_^ In any case itís much nicer than the sound of a horde of galloping elephants, which is what it sounds like overhead when you wobble from your couch to your fridge for the fifteenth time that day to refill your glass of Mountain Dew. Last time I thought my chandelier was going to come down. I know that exercise is important, but might I suggest something that gets your heart rate up a bit more? You might also try using the stairs instead of the elevator. You barely fit in anyway, especially when you have your grocery bags with you. Theyíre the size of suitcases! :O I guess itís a good thing Walmart makes its aisles big enough for people on a scooter, otherwise youíd have to lose weight just to go shopping for food and wouldnít that be ironic?

So please be considerate and keep it down a bit up there, or else you might fall through the ceiling and I really donít think my couch is large enough to fit us both, even though I am very skinny. As for taking my cats along, Iíll do my best but donít get your hopes up as my next match will probably be fought on the flanks of a live volcano.

Kind regards
Angelica

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From: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:37 PM
To: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

bitch are you making fun of me for being overweight? IVE GOT A GLANDULAR PROBLEM BITCH its in my genes0. So why donít you fuck off and take your stupid cats with you when your off to do your dumb wrestling. i hope you brake your neck your not even any good anyway so maybe ypu should just quit!. u suck in the ring and your shitgirls football team is a fucking joke lol

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From: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:44 PM
To: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

Dear Isaac

I wasnít making fun of you, merely stating facts. Facts are fun! Like for quizzes and stuff, when you have to answer questions! For example:
-   How heavy is Isaac?
a)   Canít-see-his-toes-heavy
b)   Has-to-wash-himself-with-a-wet-and-soapy-rag-on-a-stick heavy
c)   Has-his-own-gravitational-pull-heavy so he can eat the nachos that are in his orbit without having to get up from his couch
The correct answer would of course be all three! ^_^ I love asking questions that have no wrong answer. Iím a sucker for positive encouragement! Unlike you, because you are totes trying to bring down my self-confidence by saying my football team is horrible and that I should quit wrestling because Iím not very good! Iíll have you know Iíve beaten some big names, Isaac! Iím sorry none of those were enough to impress you. Iíll admit that Iíve lost my last two fights for F2W, but I soon seek to change that as we will be undoubtedly dodging lava, throwing evil rings into pits and flying on eagles on the side of a live volcano with all the others, like in that movie Lord of the Kings.
But I forgive you, itís not like I havenít heard it before. That totes mean Brennan Devlin is constantly saying all women should quit wrestling which is getting kinda boring but oh well. Iím not even gonna try to win the next fight, because like Dumbledore the Grey said: ďDo or do not. There is no try!Ē

All the best
Angelica

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From: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:47 PM
To: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

Ur a fuckin cunt I hope devlin punts you in the face and sends you to a hospital or really anyone in the match like fontana wulf or even starlite. and its lord of the rings not kings and its not dumbledore who said that that was yoda and dumbldore never was called the grey that was gandalf you idiot.

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From: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:51 PM
To: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

Dear Isaac

I apologize, I am not very well educated in regards to popular culture. Iíll admit that it has often made me the center of ridicule, even among my friends who like to talk about things like Star Track and also those movies about wars in the stars. Which seems silly, right? Why have a war INSIDE a star? Around it would be so much more practical. I once asked Starlight (not Ďstarliteí, but Iím not surprised youíre not very well educated on the whole Ďlightí concept) if she was actually born inside of a star but all I got was a nasty stare. She does that sometimes, but I actually really like Starz even though sheís a bit weird. She adds flavor to the mix, kinda like how raisins make a pack of cashew nuts a bit sweeter, only itís the exact opposite if you know what I mean. In retrospect it might have been a bit of a silly question, since stars are balls of lava, but ĎBalls of Lava Lightí isnít nearly as cool a ring name. At least in my opinion. Makes you sound like a bit of a lava lamp and those arenít very intimidating, but they ARE really pretty! ^_^
I do try to become better at making cool popular culture references but Iím not very good with names. Since it seems to be a bit of a touchy subject, I shall do my utter best, or maybe I must, like Captain Cork said: ďUse the Force, Harry!Ē

Live Strong and Proper
Angelica

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From: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 05:58 PM
To: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

you really are dumb as shit. next time i hear your cats im calling the police.

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From: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 06:06 PM
To: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

Dear Isaac

I shall have a sit-down with sir Bobby and sir Alex to see if theyíd be willing to be a bit more quiet when Iím gone to wrestle or play football. I canít promise anything, since they might not be able to hear me, especially if youíre walking because it sounds like a horde of swooping wildebeest during a transcontinental migration. I do love wildebeest, donít get me wrong, but mostly on Planet Earth because David Attenboroughís voice is so amazeballs, right? I can listen to him for aaaages! I watched it like 20 times and I know everything by heart but when I was telling Roxy about it she told me to Ďtalk to the handí because she didnít care. I told her Iíd do no such thing, since I am not Adam Wolfe and I donít like talking to hands. Or puppets. Especially puppets, theyíre totes creepy. Rumor has it Starlight possessed one. Itís kinda terrifying, tbh!

I would ask that you donít involve the police though, neither sir Bobby or sir Alex are very fond of the color blue, so their uniforms might upset them. They prefer the color red, since that is what my walls are painted in, because I really like Manchester United and they have red jerseys! Besides, Iím sure itís not a proper use of taxpayerís money. Kinda like the social welfare checks youíre cashing, since all you do is play world of wordcraft and drink Mountain Dew all day. You should really try looking for a job. Best not at a restaurant since there would have to be some food left for the customers, but maybe you can come work for me as my roadie. Your scooter seems very handy for my bags, which can be quite heavy. Iíd pay you quite well, certainly enough for a word of worldcraft subscription.

Let me know if youíre interested.
Angelica

PS: I have included this gif of a particularly cute kitten for your viewing pleasure!


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From: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 06:15 PM
To: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

Its called World of Warcraft you stupid cunt. fuck off with ur cats and dont email me again!!!Á!

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From: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 06:17 PM
To: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

Iíll have to think about it.

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From: Angelica Vaughn <--redacted-->
Date: December 23rd 2017 10:57 PM
To: Isaac Hunt <--redacted-->
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: your cats

OK